being a multimedia artist scared for being so judgemental and mean to other designs that is not worth the appreciation of my eyes.

I feel mean and I would always say something like “pangit, ew, corny, ang pangit talaga, why would (s)he do that, why would someone accept such ugliness.” 

seriously I hate being mean and trash talking other designs but that’s just it. I dont know how to stop. I know I may not be the best designer or even a little bit awesome but I just can’t stop. Criticising is just something natural that a lot of multimedia people do… i think or maybe it’s just me.

I do feel bad though…

Sometimes it’s better to stay awake than to sleep with dreams at night because reality right now is better than my dreams. Not because I’m in love or because everything is perfect.

The thing is my dreams aren’t the normal ones or the sweet ones anymore. they are usually compose of ghost, demons and monsters right now. although before I don’t usually care, i’ve just got used to it but then this time it’s distracting since It’s always connected to me and a place i know. I feel like it’s trying to tell me something and I just don’t want to care what it is. 

I did have a third eye before but I think it went off for a while and my fear right now is that it might come back and I just don’t want that…

I was at school a while ago to complete my graduation requirements, As I got to the 2nd floor where the accounting and register’s office are located. I saw people I don’t recognise. incoming frosh, sophomores and juniors, not one person I know. It was weird for me, usually I would see people I know, who I can communicate with while I wait but then there’s none. 

graduation, it’s kinda like an ending from a really awesome chapter in your life.

it’s currently 1:30pm and I should be doing my portfollio demo reel by now, also I should be doing my thesis and my websites and my other website. 

When shall these projects end, I want to lay in bed and tumblr all day but sadly I should go to my working station (coffee shop) to do all these things so I could go on doing other more projects.

Really? Danica, Really? Finish these projects just to have a new one? but then again I chose this course so might as well suck it? right? Seriously, I haven’t thought of my self to be like this when I was in high school. Fun. Fun. 

I should get going now and stop myself from posting a blog of me talking to myself or to you or whatever. Life’s so busy right now, I just want to sleep. 

On those happy smiles, On those wondrous laughs,

On those happy memories, On those unforgettable times,

We tend to forget the hardships we had.

but…

We often remember it in times past..

and it often make us sad.

sometimes it make us cry..

In times like that..

I bet no one would like to talk to someone

even though how close He or She is…

We mostly pretend and try our best to smile..

but behind that fake smiles your crying so much that it hurts..

it hurts even more than death..

I dont know why life was constructed this way..

full of hardships and sufferings..

and all mixed up with those confusing happiness that goes within..

And i also dont know why THIS UNACCEPTABLE HOLE in my heart

keeps on making me cry….

even though there’s a bright smile that wont stop…

Maybe life is always like that, always unexpected, always un experienced….

Always understanding

I feel so deep and depressed :))))

Every time you’re sad, put down or angry there is always that special someone that will do whatever it takes just to see you smile again and to let you forget all the bad things that just happened. 

today was the last day of my first day in college, well I hope it is. anyway today was hella tiring. I woke up around 5:30am so I can go through with enrollment and payment fast and easy, after that I went on doing some materials for my OJT subject but seriously I can feel stress going above my normal level and it’s not even the second week of the term. Today was just tiring from MMPORTFOLIO to OJT.

* still need to sleep, bye

I know that I should post something from my travels but somehow i’m just really really busy ever since I came back from the U.S, School work is already pilling up and the term haven’t even started yet. I don’t know when I can blog about my travels and stuff but It might not be anytime soon. 

for the people who don’t know, I’m already in college and I’m near to graduating hence the really busy schedule and messed up body clock because of my jetlag.